In Hell, how does Satan determine who gets to be general counsel?

Beats me.  Even I cannot answer that question. There are so many to pick from.  Dick Cheney maybe?

Bloggers, who do you suggest Satan should hire.

I can only think of one attorney whose name rhymes with Fallen, like into eternal damnation.

Who in hell is Todd Allen

Here for your viewing pleasure, is one of those u tube things with Todd Allen talking about litigation.  Further, I note I have discovered their are two comedians named Todd Allen.  One in Canada and the other one is soon going to be performing for Satan 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCQlSMXLrsU

What is the most pathetic thing I have to witness in a courtroom

Watching attorneys with no morals pander to the presiding judge.  It really is pathetic.  Most lawyers are so concerned about billable hours, they very seldom have the balls to stand up to a judge and state, that is not the statute or case law.  Where did you as a judge come up with this theory of yours?

Lawyers also have to worry about judges trying to get them disabarred, so the ass-kissing as stated, is really pathetic. 

What is really fun for judges are pro se cases-people that are not attorneys.  Every once a while, a judge sides with a pro se party.  Usually to get even with an attorney the judge does not like.  Hence, this must be the logic of why attorneys suck up to a judge and laugh at any witty comment made by a judge. 

Some of these lawyers need to get some testerone shots and grow some balls.  As for me, I think courtrooms should be like airliners.  They need to install vomit bags on the court room benches.

Does hell look like a crowded courtroom?

Probably because it is filled with all those attorneys and politicans. 

The only difference between hell and a courtroom is in hell, Satan does not need a court reporter.

the word.

I also love Judge Barry Schermer-I am certain the love is mutual

Jesus wants all of humanity frankly to love everyone.  If I have to love Todd Allen, as Jesus directs, I also have to love Judge Schermer, regardless of whether that love is bilateral.  I actually was thrilled to see a common sense judge from MO, even though I am from rival state Kansas, arrive at the federal court here in SW Florida.  The judge is a very witty person applying a no-nonsense approach to cleaning up the mess down here in the federal bankruptcy court. I knew who he was.  I do my research on judges before I ever step into their courthouse.

Speaking of loving all, I hope I can also love Judge Steele.  So much so, I hope he vacates a lot of the orders of Judge Schermer, like he should.  In my experiences, people like to state to me so often, good luck with that theory.  In my history of litigation, there are a few judges that have earned my respect because they respected me, too.  I am glad I am not a judge.  I know judges all over America  have way too many cases and have too few time to really address the merits of the case, much less the statutes or case law.  I understand that about judges. 

I also understand they try to be like King Solomon a lot-no one prevails and judges really dislike court cases because they have so many of them.  And another negative about judges, they have to deal with zany pro se people, but worst of all they have to deal with scumbag lawyers.  But hey, the pay is great. They do not have to hustle for clients anymore.  Clients come to them. 

Respect is earned, regardless of what title one has acquired.  When it comes to judges, state or federal, if they treat all sides with respect, they get respect back.  Sometimes, it is hard to draw a bright line over a good jurist as compared to a not so good jurist.  Generally, I look to the depth of their orders-are their orders well written and based on law.  Or, are they judges that merely look at a case and write some garbage order, that is easily appealable. 

In America, we have some good judges- a few. I could name some, but even  I do not want to mess with too many judges, state or federal. Been down that path too many times.  I have sued several judges to date.  Usually  goes no where and is typically a waste of my time because judges have that judge club thing going on. 

I did have one judge suit that went clear to the Kansas Supreme Court.  It was based on politics more than the law.  The  Kansas Supreme Court did not want the chief judge of a state district court to be appointed to the Kansas Appellate Court.  Did not work.  He still became and is still an appellate court judge in Kansas.  He was very draconian and I do not like Draco, or Draconian judges very well.  And they do not like me either, despite Jesus suggest they should do, which is to love everyone and treat everyone with respect-so they too get back respect. 

I also had another federal judge that did not like my position as a congressional candidate over unlawful immigration.  His sister runs La Raza and was friends with Janet Reno when she was the US Attorney General.  So this democratic judge really hammered me hard.  My solution to this judge-move to Florida and here I am transformed loving all humanity.  Jesus suggested I do so.

And I am not going to mess with Jesus. Jesus is our judge when we appear at the Pearly Gates. If Jesus sentences you to eternal damnation, there are no appeals allowed to God over an order of Jesus as our judge. Is Jesus in the Judge's Club.  I do not think so. 

Why scum lawyers never want to resolve litigation-aka-Billable hours

Think and act like a scum lawyer.  Always having to hustle for suckers waiting to be preyed upon by the sharks.  There are several professions that have to keep their hooks attached to your wallet.  Like doctors, drug and insurance companies, and finally law firms. Without your money, they have nothing to do but visit blogs all day.  Kind of like Toad Allen.

Law firms never want to end litigation, or resolve disputes in any manner.  Want to make a lawyer laugh-suggest arbitration or mediation.  It is contrary to their cash flow and billable hours.  It is just how the legal profession works. 

If  an attorney good or dispeciable has a client, and the attorney can work with the opposing party amicably, then the attorney is screwing his/her own self-interest--billable hours.  Lawyers want to extend litigation-never resolve it.

There is only one problem with the shark theory called clients. After so many billable hours to a client with nothing close to resolution, clients start figuring out what is happening.  They go to a scumbag for help and the scumbag figures if you are stupid enough to call me, you deserve to be screwed by me.

I as a scumbag am going to rape your wallet and your bank account, and take all your other property I can legally, or illegally get away with. This is called raping your client.  Law firms love people that are emotionally distraught and think attorneys are moral.  And if you are rich, they really love those people even better. In the legal industry, naive people thinking a lawyer is moral and decent are called "suckers" or in a derogatory manner, "stupid and naive idiot".

Get past that kind of simplistic naive thinking.  Attorneys are foremost business people that love other people's money.  Your money.  Usually, after a court case is finally over, the attorneys send the opposing party a Christmas card thanking them for making the law firm and its lawyers rich.  Hence, why lawyers are called shysters at law.  Some call them contemptous crooks.  Me, I call them scumbags.  And they laugh with glee, all the way to the bank with your money.

My function in court is to make the opposing party figure this out themselves.  After the law firm they hired has raped them of a lot of money with smoke and mirror promises, their client starts figuring out the shell game.  At that point in time, where the client of the scum starts getting this con figured out, then I end up with my settlement check.

Isn't that right. Toad.  And thanks for the X-Mas gift from your lawfirm.  Next year, do not send me a smoker.  I already have one.  Glad I made you scum lots of billable hours, paid for by your dumb-ass client.  By the way, your law firm missed my birthday this year.  Put it on your to do list for October.  Send Scherer birthday present-vis--vis from our client's astronomical bill.

To Wall St., greed is good.  To a scum lawyer, money in the bank and that new sport car is called billable hours.

The word.

Some of the top blog posting on scumbag lawyers I can find

Start with this one.  A scumbag lawyer is threatening the Cleveland Browns football team about the high risk of injury from fans flying paper airplanes at games played in Cleveland.  This scum lawyer gets a A+ for defining the legal term, frivilous.

http://www.zug.com/live/86683/Best-Response-To-A-Lawyer-Ever.html

More to come later.  I can see I am not the only person on the planet earth or in the entire universe that considers some lawyers to be scumbags, as defined.

Is the act of, and becoming a collection attorney a noble, respected and honorable profession?

NO.

Proof of the transformation of Thomas Scherer-I love Todd Allen-Jesus made me do this

Thanks Jesus.  Not.  I am not very happy with your wise words that I am to love my enemies.

Even if this person I have to endure is a horrible, amoral and pathetic life mass called a scumbag collection attorney.  But, I am not going to risk eternal damnation like this one asshole on the planet earth is. 

It is ok with me if you send Todd Allen to hell.  Ditto for that federal judge that wants to sanction me over some missing ellipses.

I really do not like this person, that much.  And you are telling me I have to love him?  Good grief.  It merely makes me wonder what the future holds for Todd or Toad Allen.  Is he actually going to redeem himself and act as a loving human being.  I hope so.

So, help Todd Allen God.  He needs to be redeemed and stop being so amoral and pathetic. 

In closing, I am not happy about what Jesus wants me to do, but for the record, I listen to the words of Jesus.  Therefore, somehow I love Todd Allen, despite what he does for a living. 
The word.

I somehow am forced to love Todd Allen per Jesus, despite what he does for a living

Jesus wants all of us to love each other-to help each other, as much as humanly possible. Jesus never suggested that we love things and despise each other. Now this is pretty fundamental; yet, so hard to love people. Love humanity and each other, and things will generally be a lot better.

Why do we Americans love our things, but not each other? I think things typically do not hurt us; but humans certainly can as we experience that thing called life. Humans hurt other humans. Sometimes, just like Cain and Abel in the Bible, humans kill each other. So, why do we love our things; and not each other as much?

For example, if you live in Internet Land and enjoy Farmville, there is a rational explanation for this. Farmville does not harm you-it is a passive and addictive internet experience, lacking any communication with other human beings. Naturally, if you are doing social media things like Farmville, you do not have to interact, unless you want to with humans-a controlled environment lacking human interaction.

Ditto for small children and puppy dogs. These examples cannot harm or hurt you directly. Nor can that fancy sports car you are driving. Things satisfy our need for self-expression and our independence. We earn money and then with some of that money, we obtain things or possessions that we think define who we are.

Things do not define humans. Actions and omissions define who we are in relation to other human beings-our humanity-both our virtues and our character. Are we good people, humane and loving to others; or alternatively do you ignore Jesus and ignore humanity increasing the odds you will be sentenced to eternal damnation?

I too have a problem with lots of human beings. As I move through the passage of life, a few isolated humans have caused me grave harm. I struggle every day with past harms. I am trying my best to not dwell on past harms, stay positive as much as possible, deal with today and those few isolated humans, appropriately referred to as assholes.

We all have one-and more than likely, depending on the circumstances we all can be one to another human being.

As I age in my own life, it is difficult, but not impossible for me to learn to love humanity again. Is this wisdom with age, education and experience? Nope. It is paying attention to what Jesus taught all of us how we should live our lives. So, applying what Jesus teaches me, I have to love this scumbag collection lawyer named Todd Allen. Even though I would rather not do so.

Amen. Thank you Jesus for what you tried to teach all of us. Some of us blockheads out here are very slow learners. Therefore, putting into effect what you taught all of us long ago, somehow I have to love a collection attorney named Todd Allen. Hard, but not impossible.

Your student, Thomas E. Scherer

OK, we agree on some common definitions

Ok, no one has challenged various words I used in prior posts.  So, there is concurrence on the words used and defined.

Shyster
Scumbag
Scalliwag
Con Artist
Shill
Prostitute

Several other words, all meaning the same thing-collection attorney.

Finally, we had a riddle no one has correctly answered, yet.  When in recorded history, who is the first known attorney-at-law invented.  Here is a hint.  It was not western civilization.  Think eastern civilization.  Like China.  Unlike America, this nation's recorded history has existed for quite a while.  Hence, scumbags originated in China.  Think about Chinese fortune cookies?  Who wrote them and for the real dense lawyers, think of the origin of the word, confused.  Like as in the name of the person commonly referred to as Conficious.  On a sidenote, Conficuous did not write the golden rule. He merely wrote about the golden rule.  As did Jesus. 

You want to oppose Jesus-good luck with that eternal damnation thing.  Hell is horrible.  It is filled with scumbag lawyers and yahoo politicians. 

Even I know that. 

This Blog is not about a scumbag lawyer named Todd Allen

Some of the posts here to date on this relatively new blog seem to think this blog is about Todd Allen, a collection attorney I have to endure.  This blog is not about Toad or Todd Allen by any sense of the imagination.  I fact, I like Todd Allen.  I think if, and when he stops being a despicable and amoral wretch of a person, he may have the right stuff to be a very important person in America and step into my shoes in my never-ending quest to make our nation a better place.

Todd reminds me of myself, many years ago.  I used to be just like Toad, many, many years ago. Chasing dollars and not caring one iota about anyone but my own self-interest.  So, I am trying to help Tood Allen in my own strange way.  Todd needs redemption.  Without any, he will continue to suffer and be despised whenever he goes. 

I am sure Toad is looking for love and cannot seem to find it.  Gee, what a surprise-a person takes on one of the lowest respected professions (collection attorney) in the world in self-hatred and lack of love.  So, Toad is a mean, angry person seeking to be loved;, but lost in how to find love and self-respect. To Toad, I am the shepard merely minding the herd looking for lost sheep.  Toad is a lost sheep having been seperated from the herd.  Toad needs to be found, so he can be redeemed and become a good person again.

In  simple terms, I have been where Toad is.  Many years ago.  I found out when I was 42, chasing dollars was never going to make me happy.  So, at 42, I quit chasing dollars and starting helping others. I never looked back and instead of chasing money, money was given to me as a gift for doing good works.  For good reason-helping human beings makes good sense from a practical perspective.  Maybe someday, Toad can come to the same realization and actually do something beneficial for humanity. 

So Toad, to find love, give some.  Stop chasing dollars and start helping humanity.  I promise you one thing-you will find the love, self-respect, morals and the happiness you are so desperately in pathetic futilility  seeking. The money is a gift you recieve once you become a decent moral human being. 

You have an opportunity being presented to you-a gift. Take it for what it is worth-a moral message.  Your own humanity. No one attains happiness by chasing dollars.  Hence, why collection attorneys are scumbags on the face of the planet earth leaving their trails of scum wherever they go. 

So, in a strange way, I love Toad Allen.  He is simply reinforcing my own sheepherder kind of philosophy and personal commitment to be a good, honest and moral human being.  I am sure I will be rewarded some day for helping Toad Allen not be himself. 

Shyster defined: We have to be clear on our definitions

A shyster ( /ˈʃaɪstər/) is a slang word for someone who acts in a disreputable, unethical, or unscrupulous way, especially in the practice of law, politics or business.

Contents [hide] 1 Etymology 2 Common alternate spellings 3 Cultural references 4 References

[edit] Etymology

The etymology of the word is not generally agreed upon. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary says it is based on the German Scheißer (literally, defecator),^[1] but the Oxford English Dictionary describes it as "of obscure origin", possibly deriving from a historical sense of "shy" meaning disreputable.^[2] Various false etymologies have proposed an anti-Semitic origin, and some people continue to regard the word as referring particularly to Jews or Jewish lawyers.^[3]

[edit] Common alternate spellings

Shyster has many commonly used alternate spellings, including shuyster, schister, scheister, sheister, schyster, shister, shiester, and schiester.

Also see the term scumbag.  For a good site on shysters, also refer to scumbaglawyersinAmerica.blogspot.com.

Contest: Win one free hour of legal counsel with a scumbag attorney-at-law

Here is your opportunity to post right here on this blog, your horror story about any scumbag lawyer here in the United States of America.  The blog author ensures he will personally be paying one hour of legal counsel time with a scumbag lawyer at the standard scum rate limited to 250 bucks, as chosen by the blog author.

All you have to do is submit on this blog, a story that is based on fact, believable or unbelievable that  clearly details your own personal experiences (within the history of God creating the planet earth) that exemplifies the content of the very nature of this blog-pinpoint out one or more scumbug lawyers so the rest of us can avoid having to deal with them. 

If you need a person who has mastered this and is considered to be an expert on the subject, I know a certain attorney that for an astronomical sum of money, can give you too, expert advise on how to find a scumbag attorney-at-law. Or, if you reside in Florida, look in the Yellow pages and pick any attorney in Florida at random.  The odds are if you call one, more than likely, they too will be an expert at scumbagging since Florida has so many of these things down here. 

Please write an essay and post it in the comments section of this blog.  The blog author is the judge and will be the person awarding one hour of prepaid legal fees with one of the worst attorneys the blog author can think of here in SW Florida.  So, give some contact data just in case you are the award winner.  Attorneys like the one this blog is dedicated to, are not allowed to file any entries.  As a matter of fact, no attorney will be considered eligible for applying for the award. 

Just for fun-meaning no prize money will be given out, name the first attorney-at-law to ever be recorded in history. Hint one-No, Eve did not have a divorce attorney.  Nice try though.  Even God would not have created attorneys-at-law. 

 And no, it is not Draco, of Draconian fame.  He was a judge.  We here at this blog are looking for the first known attorney-at-law, followed shortly soon afterwards, by all sorts of hoodlums and similiar con artists, creating the cottage industry of scumbag lawyers. 

Dedication of this blog site: Todd Allen

This blog is hereby dedicated to things called scumbag lawyers.  The source of my inspiration is modeled after this attorney I know, who if you pronounced his name, would sound just like Todd Allen.  For good reason.

There are a lot of attorneys in America and in the whole world that are scum on the surface of the planet earth.  They crawl and slime things wherever they go, just like a sleazy slug, earthworm or snake. The trail they leave because is called scum. 

So, this blog is dedicated to people whose name might sound like Todd Allen, for example-an amoral, pathetic psychopathetic liar thing, some people get confused as being a human being. 

Most people on the planet earth do not patronize and refer to scum as a human being.  We have other titles used on earth for slimey creatures I refer to as scumbags.  For example, effective immediately, this blog is lovingly dedicated to things-things I call the scumbag lawyers of the planet earth. 

Merely because this site is dedicated to Todd Allen, does not imply Todd Allen is an actual human being. In fact-I am stating the exact opposite-it is never appropriate to refer to scum as a human being. 

Connie Mack:"I am only a technical failure."

Californian Connie Mack can't make his mind about retiring from being a career politician.  When it comes to the failures of Mack, or like I like call him using his real name, McGillicuddy cannot explain many things.  I can explain Connie Mack.  He is a technical failure.  Just like the captain reports on that collapsed Italian cruise liner this weekend.

Heck, I got this huge rock stuck in my ship causing the ship to collapse.  But hey, it is merely a technical failure.  Excuse me-this captain like Mackgillicudy after our economy has collapsed, now wants us Floridians to make him be elected to the United States Senate.  Does these kinds of things tell all of regular people that things and politicians on this earth are a tad bit crazy.  When you live in CA most of the time, what would Connie Mack call that?  Ah, that is merely a technical failure. 

Get Mack off the government payroll.  He has failed the people of Florida in the 14th, as well the voters of this nation.  If we send a career politician that has failed so miserable to take care of his congressional district, that would be called an insane technical failure.  If Connie Mack becomes my United States Senator, I am abandoning ship due to a technical failure.